The Issue of Attraction
Sunday, September 10, 2006
I heard a story. A story about attraction.
She and her first love broke up ages before, and both got attached to other people. They haven't seen each other for years, yet she fondly remembered their relationship and attributed its failure to her own immaturity at the time.
She received a call from him. He has been trying to find her for a long time. Both were single again and had been years. They were married last year. She said, "He is not the perfect man by any means, but he loves me the way I've always wanted to be loved."
The depth of her words went to my core. Have we sacrificed the love she described due to what might have been superficial considerations? After all, ladies want someone finer, richer, stronger, taller, funnier... men want someone prettier, slimmer, more demure... Shall I go on? The fact of the matter, there will always be someone finer, richer, stronger, taller, funnier, prettier, slimmer, more demure... whatever. But the question is will they want you? Will they have the capacity to love you the way you want to be loved?
I think I have been emphasized and promoted traits that are good and necessary for stability and security. Character traits, I should say. Being dutiful, honest and having integrity are desirable qualities - but they aren't exciting. Maybe all women want these characteristics in a mate, but these are not what initially attract a woman to a man. We will never hear a group of women comment on a man who has just entered the room with "Check him out! He's so faithful, so full of integrity, so honest..." (To be continued..)
posted byWilliam at 11:08 PM
You are right. Physical attraction of a man is always the first thing a woman will feel when she sees someone suave. People DO care about image right? I mean you don't see people wearing flip flops to interview sessions etc. But ultimately, what's the most important thing is inner beauty. A person can be nice and friendly on first impression but someone who stabs you at the back unknowingly. A couple can be the perfect match with heaven-endowed physical attributes. But as time passes, looks fade. What will withstand the test of time is the intrinsic qualities that a person has. Just random thoughts here.
Girls dont say guys are faithful etc to other girls becos we would wan to keep those good guys with us, so we won't go and advertise and let other girls go after mah.. hehe.. =P
Ant
ant,
You make sense. We all want to keep the best to ourselves. Perhaps, this reflects the idea that love is selfish?
ya la.. of cos love is selfish to certain level.. u see ah.. if i hav a very good bf, shd i go ard and tell everyone he is so good and come on, fight with me? like tt my life will be hard lei.. haha.. keep quiet and then keep him aside mah.. those very handsome but not very good one can advertise for other pple mah hehe.. let them fight it out themselves while we ourselves enjoy our 2 ren shi jie hehe... haha.. =)
Ant